Balancing Act: Hanover life coach helps you live well when your game is off

Date last updated: 4:53 am Sep 18th, 2006

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By LINDA THOMAS
For The Patriot Ledger

Life coach Anne Barry Jolles talked with Nancy Higginson of Hanover and Janet Bibeau of Braintree, owner of Storybook Cove in Hanover, during a book signing last month. (LISA BÜL/The Patriot Ledger)

Author, life coach and speaker Anne Barry Jolles, 52, of Hanover, says grace every day.

Most of her clients do, too. Jolles is co-owner of Coaching Connections.

‘‘Grace’’ is a five-step self-help process Jolles developed and sells. In it clients ask the questions:

‘‘What am I Grateful for in my life?’’

‘‘What do I want to Release or let go?’’

‘‘Who or what do I want to Acknowledge in my life or accept in my life?’’

‘‘What Challenge do I want for myself?’’

‘‘What do I want to Embrace in my life or what do I want my energy to flow toward?’’

When client Dawn Williams first started the process, she could barely get through one letter.

‘‘Just contemplating the G for gratitude ‘what or whom am I grateful for?’ can anchor me in my absolute worst moment,’’ she said.

‘‘The R for release has made me realize that I can choose to release and let go of fears, doubts and people that hold me back or hold me away from moving forward,’’ she continued.

Williams, 48, of Scituate, said she was overwhelmed with life until Jolles coached her. ‘‘I had three active teenagers, running a business, a home and trying to work on my marriage. I felt I was past succeeding at anything because everything I knew or thought I knew was changing at great speed,’’ Williams said.

‘‘I really wanted to learn to live my life with choices I consciously made rather than having life run me into the ground,’’ she said.

Some of the exercises Williams learned from Jolles opened her to new ideas, challenges - and choices.

‘‘I learned how to process where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do and get there and succeed. Whatever success meant to me.

‘‘Working with Anne brought me a constant, well-anchored source of encouragement, a non-judgmental sounding board and a companion to walk you through the motions of moving forward in your life. Kind of like a well-rehearsed play,’’ Williams said.

She said she learned to discover her weaknesses and overcome them with her strengths at her choosing.

‘‘Oftentimes, just answering the questions in ‘Grace’ such as ‘what about the future scares me that I need to let go of?’ can be empowering. I write down or think about my answer and immediately I begin to process moving through the fear or doubt I find challenging. It’s kind of like personal brainstorming. The energy of the process alone is amazing.

‘‘Once I learned to move through the process, I almost felt invincible,’’ Williams said.

‘‘Grace’’ came into the life of Janet Kelly of Milton, while she anticipated her 23-year-old son’s homecoming from the Marines after four years and three tours in Iraq. She said it was a big transition to have her son back home from war. Kelly said ‘‘grace’’ helped enlighten her to the issues she would face with her son and enhance her family life and personal growth.

‘‘It sends you in a different direction and how you want your life to go,’’ Kelly said. ‘‘For me, having a son in a war zone created a need for me to develop new coping strategies.’’

So successful has Jolles been with the ‘‘grace’’ concept that she presented the strategy to about 2,000 life coaches from all over the world at the 10th annual International Life Coach Federation conference in San Jose, Calif., in October. The ILCF is a professional association made up of personal and business coaches.

‘‘It supports and fosters development of the coaching profession,’’ said Steve Mitten, president of the ILCF, which has more than 8,900 members and 132 chapters in 34 countries.

Jolles and partner Tracy Mindess provide individual and group coaching - Jolles working on the South Shore and Mindess on the North Shore.

‘‘Grace’’ grew out Jolles own life challenges - coping with the death of her parents, raising two teenage children and making career changes.

‘‘I have always put out a lot of energy seeking my best and assisting others to identify and seek their best,’’ she said. ‘‘It’s what I do and have always done.’’

Jolles, a former occupational therapist, also writes, paints and presents seminars, workshops and retreats.

About eight years ago, she said she read an article on life coaching and told her husband she couldn’t believe there was a profession that actually did that.

But then, her parents became ill and in the course of 18 months both died. Even with five siblings, Jolles said it still didn’t feel like they had enough help in assisting their parents.

The day after her father’s funeral, Jolles signed up for training as a life coach.

Jolles said she is living and challenging herself just as she encourages and challenges her clients.

‘‘I stated an outrageously big intention to the world, and all kinds of doors have opened with limitless possibilities,’’ she said.

‘‘I’m grateful for all the people who have shown up to support me and these concepts - and for having the opportunity to engage my life in this very full and interesting way.’’

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