Raising a teenager requires a lot of patience and grace

Date last updated: 4:54 am Sep 18th, 2006

By LINDA THOMAS
For The Patriot Ledger

Gloria Carlson, 48, of Weymouth, read Jolles’ self-published book, ‘‘Grace for Parents of Teens: 5 Steps for Bringing Your Best to the Next Moment.’’

She practiced the ‘‘grace’’ strategy to help her husband successfully battle cancer and so she thought she’d try it with parenting her 15-year-old son. She was inspired by Jolles’ ‘‘humor, wit, depth and wisdom.’’

The book, she said, helped her look beyond the physical responsibility of parenting a teenager. ‘‘She opened up a path to nurturing teens with a loving heart that honors the spirit of our sons and daughters,’’ Carlson said. ‘‘Her approach to life invites honesty, creativity and a depth that might be missed in the busy culture in which we live.’’

Jolles began writing about raising her teenage son and daughter as a release. ‘‘I wrote to find a voice that was centered in humor, love, compassion and reality.’’ She eventually turned those writings into what she calls ‘‘drive-through books,’’ intending to fit in the average person’s busy life.

‘‘They contain wisdom condensed into small, manageable, bite-size pieces for anyone to drive through and grab and digest it immediately into his or her life,’’ she said.

Carlson said Jolles affirmed her belief that parenting isn’t always about having the answers - it is often about asking the right questions.

When her own kids got to be teens, Jolles said she felt it was like ‘‘a crack on the side of the head.’’

‘‘I felt like ‘this is not a job that I signed up for’ - but it was. I just didn’t pay attention to that fine print - the part that stated I would indeed parent for 18 years and one-third of that would be to a teen.

‘‘I’m convinced now that we do this backward. We should have babies now and teenagers when we are in our 20s. I actually thought that if I did it all ‘right’ then we would not have any issues in the teen years. But I didn’t know that if you had no issues, that was an issue.’’

Practicing what she preaches - ‘‘grace’’ - Jolles said she is grateful to her family and friends for their encouragement and support in helping her move forward with her books. She is grateful for her children for helping her see other perspectives through other eyes.

‘‘I need to let go of worry and just continue to stay right here in this moment - aware of what is in my control and what is out of my control. Letting go of what is out of my control - like where these books go. They will have a life of their own.’’

‘‘I want to acknowledge that this is scary. Publishing books and letting them go and be read and judged by the world is scary. So, I want to acknowledge my fear. I want to acknowledge that at the same time this is fun and an adventure that is being created right in front of my eyes.

‘‘I want to embrace that this is a journey and that the beginning may be the end. And that the end may be the beginning. I don’t know where I am going and that is OK. I can figure things out in the moment and ask for help when I need to.’’

« view all news items